Thursday, June 10, 2010

Day 3 . empty

felt the drastic change when the decision is made,
somebody felt happy & somebody stunned,

everything need to plan again and this time around it just me who have to face the truth,
the truth of being lone ranger who have yet see the light ahead,


deep inside my heart i felt its a correct way,
now i have to seek for the light to lead me again,
or i will make the fire and make my path.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

i still cant accept it..

its really a thunderstorm in my mind when i got fact that it was confirmed and W had surrendered willingly to F. I known W for sometime, and the way i know it, W will not give it out unless W willing to. I call up, and W confirmed it,and here comes the storm...

during my long journey home i try to meditate and it doesn't work, my mind will automatic thought of W and the fact that F will eventually win this war. There is time I had a low esteem period, F got everything that i dun have. More personal time,bigger income,no family strings that hold F back and F's physicals. this sounds totally not like me.. i normally won't care about those but not this time..i never faced a competition like this before because i never had one before..

well, i do review myself that do i really afford to lose it one day or as i proposed to W that we are great pal? my mind pops up lot of uncertainty, i really need a companion.A companion that my family will give their blessing..i had live a long single life, and after half a year back to square one.
i really do not hope the prophecy of a fortune teller become true, that i will big had time to get my soul mate or won't get one. And leads to my single old age and commit suicide one day because i have not achieved anything.

on the other hand, i know i should do this which i had foreseen this , it just too many potential competition and great opportunity for one to be seduced and attracted by others.

argh!!!! i dun wish to say i had lose my time for this, and i do hope for the best.
need to pack up myself and move on.

to be cont.