during my long journey home i try to meditate and it doesn't work, my mind will automatic thought of W and the fact that F will eventually win this war. There is time I had a low esteem period, F got everything that i dun have. More personal time,bigger income,no family strings that hold F back and F's physicals. this sounds totally not like me.. i normally won't care about those but not this time..i never faced a competition like this before because i never had one before..
well, i do review myself that do i really afford to lose it one day or as i proposed to W that we are great pal? my mind pops up lot of uncertainty, i really need a companion.A companion that my family will give their blessing..i had live a long single life, and after half a year back to square one.
i really do not hope the prophecy of a fortune teller become true, that i will big had time to get my soul mate or won't get one. And leads to my single old age and commit suicide one day because i have not achieved anything.
on the other hand, i know i should do this which i had foreseen this , it just too many potential competition and great opportunity for one to be seduced and attracted by others.
argh!!!! i dun wish to say i had lose my time for this, and i do hope for the best.
need to pack up myself and move on.
to be cont.